Ayyix1: The Hollywood Reporter Big 10 Party

Hollywood on parade, darlings!

Darlings, Sunday night is Hollywood's Prom, the Academy Awards. And you know how it is with proms: yours were always less extravagant and more wholesome than the ones those awful kids are having today. And what's with all these pre-prom parties? Why, in our day, we were lucky to get some spiked punch and 20 dollars worth of streamers and balloons in the gym! And we walked through the snow to get there. And we LIKED IT.

Anyway.

We are gearing up for the Oscars on Sunday, doing our stretches, making sure we get lots of liquids, and carb-loading (which we do anyway) for the Main Event, a nonstop orgy of tweeting and blogging starting on Sunday afternoon and heading into Monday morning, when you will all wake up, ready to say bitchy things about who won and what everyone was wearing.

Since every year the number of pre- and post-Oscar parties seems to get exponentially larger, we're going to run through a couple of them today just to stay limber. Put on your headbands and jog with us.

Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera Spring 2011

It's cute enough and we'd probably like it more if she hadn't spent the last year wearing colorless, tight dresses that do nothing for her.

Illeana Douglas

Not a bad dress, but it needed styling. A belt would have been nice. It's fine if she wants to wear sheer hose; they'll be standard again before you know it, but not sheer hose with those big metal clodhoppers on her feet.

Aimee Teegarden

And we're not sure white hose was the way to go with this dress; not with red peep toes with little bows on them. The whole thing looks a little juvenile from the waist down.

Daniela Sea

Was the theme "Night of a Thousand Leg Coverings" or something? In this case, an opaque black was not the way to go. It doesn't help that she's surrounded by black, but she looks like two floating arms and a head.

Viola Davis in David Meister

Very cute, but she clearly didn't get the memo about hosiery. We're surprised they even let her in.

Darren Criss

Once again, the "shitty shoes" affectation isn't cute. We doubt the designer of this suit would want it paired with something you'd buy out of a bin at the Goodwill. It smacks of someone whose star is rising dramatically but who desperately wants to maintain street cred. We're gonna get so slammed for saying that. We like Darren a lot as a performer, but his affectations are a little annoying sometimes. At least he didn't wear the pink plastic sunglasses this time.

Hailee Steinfeld in Tommy Hilfiger Spring 2011

Very cute. This gal's a style natural.

Are big, chunky braids coming back?

Katie Cassidy in Hervé Léger by Max Azria

It's bad enough that the dress is kind of unflattering (not to mention drab), but even the shoes are weirdly unflattering. Aren't they? Also, Barbie-like accessories matching.

Heather Graham

Oh dear. What a trainwreck. In desperate need of a homosexual style intervention.

Alexander Skarsgard

Looks good, if a little rumpled. The break on his pant cuffs are just about right and it's nice to see a male celeb who understands you're supposed to be able to see the shirt cuffs peeking out.

Jane Seymour

Very cute dress. Barbie matching; bracelet, necklace, bag, shoes. We don't care if our hatred of super-matched accessories annoy you; we all have our pet peeves and this is ours.

Milla Jojovich in Tom Ford

It almost worked, but the fit is off in those pants. We do have to commend her for a hem that isn't swallowing her shoes, which is something of a rarity among the celeb set.

Patricia Arquette

Yikes. Is she here for a party or to torture James Bond for his secrets?

Sarah Shashi

It's all right. Looks a little "day." Also looks a little "bed sheet."

Sharon Stone

God bless that big Easter basket of crazy. In fact, this is distinctly Jesus-y in tone. Are we entering the "Messiah" portion of her career? Because that would be entertaining on whole new levels.